Since this time of year should be merry, I am wondering why I am sitting here at midnight feeling sad. I realize that there is absolutely no reason for me to feel this way. Other than the fact that I am feeling sorry for myself that my husband is working a string of nightshifts and the house is way too quiet, there is not one valid reason which justifies a mood such as this.
What I find; however, is that I am very aware of the people who are alone or without family or friends, this holiday season. I have not experienced one Christmas holiday without feeling cozy, peaceful, loved, loving, happy, content or full of gratitude and blessings.
When I think about it, we have never had to go without anything. We have always been blessed with abundance, laughter, meals, visits with people we love and care about and fun things to do. Life has been very good to my family and I. We are so fortunate.
Although we do not exchange physical gifts among our family anymore, and have not in years, I think this is why I usually love the holidays even more now. The stress of shopping for people, who already have everything, in a world where instant gratification has replaced having to wait months to receive something special, is gone and I never have to worry about what to buy for whom.
If I do anything for others, it is almost always an experience, and not a thing. I want to assist others in creating pleasant memories and not add more clutter to their home. I learned, over the last decade in particular, that things can weigh us down, but experiences and memories can last forever.
I guess this is where I am stuck. What about those people who do not have family or friends to share their holiday with? What about the people who are grieving the loss of a relationship or a loved one this holiday? What about those people who are estranged, separated, or can’t be with people they are close to, for whatever reason?
Feeling sad doesn’t really accomplish anything, though. Allowing my mood to be impacted by focusing on the difficulty of the holiday, for some people, doesn’t help anyone. When our thoughts go to things that are unpleasant, uncomfortable, or stressful, it means that we are robbing ourselves and others of joy.
Joy is a feeling – it is not a thing. We can create joy in any moment we choose. We can instantly shift our thoughts to something that makes us feel good. We can decide not to suck our energy and vitality away by voluntarily participating in doom and gloom thinking. We can focus on whatever we want to.
Turning on the Yuletide Fireplace channel with Christmas music has managed to make me feel better, as I write. It is amazing how when we change up our scenery, task, focus or activity how we can shift the energy we are vibrating.
When we are miserable, we are vibrating negativity and broadcasting it to everyone around us. If no one is around, we end up wallowing in our own toxic cloud of grumpiness.
For these upcoming couple of weeks ahead, may your cloud be filled with appreciation, kindness, gratitude, lightness of spirit, peace, joy, calmness, laughter, coziness and play.
Whether you are alone or surrounded by people, may you constantly ground yourself with the realization that at any moment you can shift your thinking, alter your perspective and immerse yourself in whatever you feed into your heart, mind and spirit.
Although every moment may not be bliss and sunshine, our experience of this holiday will be shaped and designed by what we allow in. Our mind and body are like a funnel. We consciously or subconsciously decide what we absorb and that will determine our mood.
I choose to remember that I can do my part by ensuring that my cloud is spreading positive, caring, helpful and loving energy to those who I come in contact with. That is all I have control over. When we focus on taking care of ourselves, our energy, our rest, our home, our surroundings and our issues, we end up contributing to others in a meaningful way.
When we don’t take care of ourselves, we can impact others negatively, even if we don’t mean to. It all starts with us. How is your cloud? If it is not so good, what action can you take this holiday, to take care of you? What triggers do you need to avoid in the coming weeks? What is your plan for self-care? Thinking about this in advance can make all the difference….
‘The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.’ ~ Anna Quindlen