Can’t fit it in…


I wanted to kick myself because there was a movie I wanted to see with a girlfriend of mine. I found out today that it was already gone. No matter what good intentions we have, sometimes we just can’t fit it all in. I am finding this happening a lot lately and I am not sure what to do about it.

When we think about the 24 hours in a day, we can subtract at least one third of that time spent sleeping. Approximately another third might be working (if we are employed) and the last third should be up for grabs. I could handle 8 hours of down time in a day.

The problem is that it doesn’t work out to 8 hours. Once we factor in shower or bath time, cleaning time, making beds, eating, shopping, laundry, errands, etc. that might only leave a few hours a day left. Usually my husband, daughter and grandson get priority. After that, it is my extended family and maybe friends might get a few of the crumbs of time left over.

This vicious cycle is disheartening and makes me feel like a failure that I don’t have the time or energy for the people and things I often want to do. I want to do lunch or visit with my family. I want to go to the movies with my girlfriend. I want to go to seminars, conferences and special events. What is the solution?

Most will say that we must wait until retirement to truly have time freedom; however, there must be a better way, in the meantime. I am tired of feeling like a hamster on a wheel. When the weather is nasty outside, or I am not feeling well, or the house is a mess, or my husband and I are working opposite shifts, we need to get extremely creative to prioritize some fun, enjoyable and recreational things to do.

Since work is such a priority for most, the answer might just be in the little slivers of time left over, where we plan, in advance, a couple of hours here and there. Maybe the solution is in these crumbs. Maybe we can accept that we it is unrealistic for us to truly engage in everything we want to do and simply integrate some of what we want to do.

I have this conversation in my head because I sometimes have trouble justifying time with friends, when I have barely seen my own husband or family all week. I guess it is about fitting in a little bit here and there, instead of completely neglecting one area of our lives completely. It is a constant battle, at least for me.

I will have to live with not having all the answers. We are all on a journey and we go through different stages in our lives. Each stage presents different challenges and obstacles. Some stages or life events require 100% of our attention and other stages can free us up for fitting in all of our wishes and desires. Some people have too much time on their hands and feel bored and others are overwhelmed with a multitude of responsibilities.

I guess giving ourselves a break and minimizing the expectations we put on ourselves might be in order. We do what we can when we can, depending on how much energy and time we have, based on our current priorities. As long as people know that I love and care about them, even when I am not able to fit it all in, I suppose that will have to do.

Life is certainly a complex puzzle and sometimes we don’t know where to put all of the pieces. That is why puzzles sit, unfinished, much of the time. That’s okay though. When we can, it will get done. When we can’t, life will go on. On that note, I am off to prepare for a few slivers of time to spend with my clan, getting some fresh air and having some family time.

What slivers might you grab a hold of, to schedule something that fills your heart or gives you some pleasure, enjoyment or connection with others. It may not be as much as you would like, but it is worth fitting some of it in!

‘We repeat what we don’t repair.’ ~ Christine Langley-Obaugh


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